An Open Letter to the Super Bowl Advertisers, Producers and Beyoncé To whom it may concern: The Super Bowl is—or has been—America’s defining sporting event. More than any other day in the year, it is America at its most exuberant, unapologetically self-indulgent (see the expanded waistlines if you need proof) and full of its own […]
10 Things that Are (Already) Ruining 2013 & 3 That May Save It Yet
January 27, 2013 By 2 Comments
In just a few short days it will be the unwelcome days February. Nothing particularly useful happens in February and that includes the imaginary holidays it contains (here’s looking at you Valentine’s Day). In the rhythm of my year, things won’t start perking up again until the Ides of March when I annually consider who […]
The Parent(hood) Trap
January 19, 2013 By 1 Comment
Ok, women readers of Martinis Optional. It’s about to get ugly up in here. Really ugly. I’m just warning you. Consider this that inflammotory surgeon general thing on the box or that intrusive “Hey this is not really food” label that California wants to start putting on WheatThins. Whatever the metaphor, just know, that I […]
Am I Making Progress Here?
December 30, 2012 By 2 Comments
Ok, sooo…. in April I set out a two year goal for myself to make it through a list of 35 achievements before I turned 35. I am now more than 6 months of the way through that goal. How am I doing? Well… here are a few highlights on the progress: 1. Fit into […]
The Angry Men
March 14, 2012 By 4 Comments
It seems that there are a lot of angry men these days. They come from all walks of life, rich and poor, liberal and conservative, Christian and atheist, but some how these Y-chromosomes have their undies in a bundle over the state of things, and particularly how little they way things are is the way they […]
The Greatest Also-Ran
February 28, 2012 By Leave a Comment
Bummer. That’s the “Love and Logic” word we use for Evan when he makes a bad choice. Bummer. Apparently the child therapy gods have convened and decided that anything more descriptive than that will cause irreparable harm. Given the fact that the only childhood perma-scars that I’m aware of are my own, I’m willing to acquiesce to […]
Not To Be Taken Seriously
January 7, 2012 By Leave a Comment
It was early Thursday morning that I dropped off my car at the illustrious teepee-like necessary evil known as Denver International Airport. I was the consummate business pro, carry on packed like Mary Poppins handbag, minimal stripping required through the security line, stepping out of my car door with a comfortable 45 minutes before take-off, […]
Pretty|Beautiful
November 6, 2011 By Leave a Comment
It’s pretty here. Probably better than that, it’s gorgeous here. Pretty is such a small word. Twenty-two year olds are pretty. In fact I saw two of them just yesterday, sitting by the pool practicing being pretty. The young man post-pubescent boy wonder kept strategically adjusting himself so that his eight pack abs would flash […]
Opportunism: Halloween Style
October 31, 2011 By 1 Comment
So it’s Halloween. Worst holiday ever invented. Yes, I know, it’s for the kids and they’re so cute and blah. My kids are cute in their normal clothes. Most kids are cute in their normal clothes. Many kids are not cute in Halloween costumes. In fact, they just look weird. Plasticky Darth Vader comstumes with […]
